Andy: “What are we doing? We didn’t get a single thing that Ben told us to.”
April: “Sure we did. We got the Marshmallow Shooter.”
Andy: “I don’t think that’s on the list.”
April: “But I want it.”
Andy: “I want it too. But I also kinda want my own fork. Just because you eat really slow, which is cute, but also super-annoying.”
Andy: “What? What’s wrong?”
April: “Nothing. It’s just adults are boring. And I hate them, and I don’t want to buy all this stupid boring adult stuff and become boring adults.”
Andy: “Hey, listen to me. Yes, we’re gonna get a dish rack and shower curtains and a cutting board, but if you think for one second I’m not also going to get that Marshmallow Shooter so that I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you’re asleep, then you’re the dumbest woman I know.”
April: “You’re gonna make me cry.”
girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you
So that white American doctor who got cured of Ebola with some sci-fi medicine said he was alive thanks to God and that he was going to pray for all the people dying of Ebola in Africa. Except he's actually alive thanks to medicine, and praying for the Ebola victims in Africa isn't going to do shit. Giving them that fresh new medicine would.
Every time people thank god for their random fortune or unearned privilege, do they ever think about what this actually says about their god? Like, yo asshole, how about fuck you for killing all these innocent people and double fuck you if the reason is “they weren’t praying hard enough.”
I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I only know what I can do.
(Source: ofuhura, via twofacedjanus)
the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.
look , i literally can’t stress how cute this deleted parks and rec scene is and im about to lose my fucking shit.
Im in love with Chris Pratt
(Source: bleu, via treasuresofrule)
atla scribbles. Appa is my fave hhhh
"He’s like, the biggest badass in the neighborhood, pretty much." - Noel Fisher
(Source: cameronmonaghans, via noelfshr)